No-poo Day one -- (You were expecting a naked picture weren't you? NOT happening. There's enough scary stuff on the Internet.)

Totally motivated to DO THIS THING, I collected the (open, in use) bottles of hair product I have laying around and counted $275.00 worth of products. $275.00! In the last year! That doesn't include whatever I have purchased, used all of and tossed. I'm blown away. So I hop in the shower, humming to myself about the money I'll save and how beautiful my hair will be, and how my life will be perfect; I'll probably get elected to public office, I'll become a millionaire and a movie star and will have stylists on hand with the newest, most expensive, synthetic, hair products on the market...oh wait...right...

....DO THIS THING. I lather up with special clarifying shampoo I purchased a whole bottle of for the occasion (ridiculous -- since the plan is to not use shampoo any longer) and snap a photo. You're welcome for that by the way. Shower photo. HOT. I wash and try to wrangle a comb through the nest. Not happening...I try a brush...nope. I try a serious brush. Not even close.  I'm screaming in my head now. Tangles, you can't even imagine...tangles (tangles!) make me angry so quickly. If I give up on this thing it will be tangles that put the nail in. Seriously, my tangles probably could get up, find a hammer, run to Home Depot, buy a nail and hammer it in my coffin. This is how bad they are.

So naked, dripping water everywhere (cause I just jumped out of the shower- imagine a naked, dripping, Megan Fox if its more appetizing...or whatever gets your goat. If you're imagining a naked, dripping, goat I don't wan't to know)  I run to the kitchen and grab anegg -- stay with me here -- I read this somewhere online about the eggs.  I think to myself -- i might need two eggs, sooooo..I try to crack them on a bowl - slip on the water that is pooling everywhere and actually crack them mostly on the counter. But the counter is clean. Okay, cleanish.......OKAY....mostly cleanish.  I'm washing it out of my hair anyway. Sheesh. So I scrape it into a bowl, mix in some peppermint essential oil for good measure and I'm off to the shower. Evidently -- and this is the God's truth...Evidently, eggs can scramble in your hair. This. Happened. And now my hair smells like weird eggy mint and I'm picking little bits out but OH! Oh my holy head-gasm the tingle feels like when I used to steal my boyfriends American Crew shampoo (when I had a boyfriend with hair, and therefore shampoo.) And whatever this head tingle, happy thing is this is happening again. I will definitely be finding a way for peppermint oil to happen in this new routine.  Over and over and over...sorry, losing track...(Hindsight says you're only supposed to use the yolks. Thanks Google. Thanks for the specifics.)

 And as I'm picking and picking, I realize my hair smells really weird. It's probably a mixture of the clarifying shampoo (which wasn't roses) and the SCRAMBLED EGG in my hair (scrambled egg.) The peppermint is a nice overtone. Kind of a summery mint quiche kind of thing. I don't know who would eat that. Gross. 

I rinse with vinegar and water really, really hoping my long, luxurious, eggy, locks would be rid of the smell-- and they are. Now I smell like deviled eggs. Seriously. A little mustard and I would eat my hair. Maybe a little paprika too.  I love deviled eggs. Not so much in my hair. But the little bits are gone and I'm counting on my hair smelling better when it dries. On the upside, I can get a brush through it. 

The last shampoo. Who knows how I come up with these hair brained ideas (you see what I did there? HAIR brained...) Pinterest... probably, Facebook definitely. One of the most valuable skills I have learned in the last year has not been in the dirt at all, but online. I have learned to make the internet work for me, instead of the other way around. Follow the right pinners, like the right pages, friend the right blogs and suddenly there is a wealth of information related to your goals and ideas, reinforcing your philosophies, working to target exactly what you want to know, before you even knew you wanted to know it...EXACTLY!. But I digress...

So over the course of the last year, I have become...decidedly more crunchy.

crunch·y

ˈkrənCHē/

adjective

1. 1.

   making a sharp noise when bitten or crushed and (of food) pleasantly crisp.

   "bake until the topping is crunchy"
2. 2.

   informal

   politically and environmentally liberal.

   "a song that incorporates whale-singing seems pretty crunchy"

Okay, well per the definition, I started that way. I make a very sharp noise when bitten. Its true. And I have hidden socialist tendencies. But if you read back through former posts my family and I have been moving to a more whole, sustainable way of living, slowly and not without bumps. It was only a matter of time before this made its way to my beauty routine as well. My boyfriend assures me that his understanding does not go as far as if I stop shaving my legs and start singing in circles...or tie-dyeing anything. But the opportunity to save (a boat load) of money, to use more natural products, and to have better hair? There was really no question. Besides, its winter, who shaves above the knee anyway?

So begins what I understand will be a very grungy few weeks, followed by the best hair of my life. Follow along as hilarity ensures (there is always plenty) and if you're brave play along with me. The routine is as follows:

• 1 tbsp baking soda dissolved in 1 cup of distilled water -- "wash" 2-3 times a week
• rinse with 1 part apple cider vinegar mixed with 1 part distilled water to condition hair
• deep condition with eggs, yogurt, avacado, honey or a mixture of these once a week
• brush daily (often) with a boar bristle brush to distribute sebum throughout 
• learn to tie a cute headscarf or make a hat work

Stay tuned! The "final shampoo" was an interesting ordeal and i'm pretty sure I smell like minty dog. More on this tomorrow.